RESPECT

When I was working at Queensland University of Technology, I often went to the swimming pool down stairs of my office.
I have never been a good swimmer, and as a result, I always stayed on the gentle exercise lane by the side.
One day when I was swimming as usual, I found other people in my lane all moved away to elsewhere. I puzzled, checked the surrounding environment and saw that a person was slowly taken off from a wheel chair and the carer who was helping him blamed me not moving away. “Sorry!" I said, "I didn't see you. I will leave now." However the boy from the wheel chair suddenly said, "No. I don't want you to leave. Please don’t. Could you stay and swim with me together?" I nodded my head. After playing for a while, I told him that I needed to go back to office for work.
"I'm very glad today." The boy told me and he looked at the carer pleasantly. "Every time when I came here, all people who were playing in this lane would move to others, making me lonely. I'm glad that you can stay with me." Then he asked, "could you let us know when you will be here so that we always try to meet you?" "It's hard to say." I said, "As I am working just upstairs. I come here whenever I like. But you can try to ask others to be with you too. I am sure they will be glad to be with you if you request.”
"No." He said, "I only want to be with you as you swim badly. Though you can walk faster than me on the land, you can’t be faster than me in the water, which makes me very happy!"

A Revisit To A University Campus

Today we went to Brisbane CBD, and parked our car at QUT's Gardens Point Campus. This is the campus that I had studies and worked for a long time. I am familiar with everywhere and everything, including the lawns, the buildings and the classrooms. The giant "Undersea World" animation screen is still there at P block, and thus we stepped into it and let the kids play there for a while. Many times in the past I felt embarrassed to come to QUT, especially I was afraid to accidentally meet someone I had known before, but this time I am relieved. I know I am innocent and I have done nothing wrong. This is why I have no longer been afraid to face anyone or anything.

My previous office is located at Level 7 of the building. I still clearly remember that in the then Head of School's office, a Dutch professor that I once admired, blamed me for my presentation to some business stakeholders, "Your understanding of the theory is correct, your method to the investigation is sensible, your conclusion is objective, but you are wrong to directly speak out the conclusion in front of the business stakeholders as your result will make them very unhappy." At that time I really thought I had done something wrong or guilty. Ten years later, I stood in the building and thought of that conversation. Though I know he really criticised me, I've no longer think it to be my guilty, but instead, to be something that I should be proud of. At least I am brave enough to speak out my research findings in front of business stakeholders, even when my conclusion is said to potentially make them very upset and annoyed.

I watched a documentary on ABC iView last year, which was about a man who was undertaken a gender reassignment surgery as a new born baby due to a genital different from normal people's, agreed by his parents and recommended by a doctor. This surgery caused all traumas of his whole life. He later found out the doctor and asked him why he did this to bring him all those sufferings. The doctor said he was sorry for the man's suffering, but he made this decision because he wanted to help him as this was what was suggested on the textbook and the trainings in hospital after he graduated, though he knew it was no longer suggested in nowadays' material. In fact, the wrong suggestion was a result of a fake medical research.

The doctor intended to help the then newborn boy to make that decision but the decision in fact harmed him. There were many incidents happened during my days at QUT as a researcher. All these contributed to my eventually leaving from research. In the past I thought these incidents hurt me a lot. But without them, how could I really escape? After understanding this, I've no longer annoyed of anyone or anything. All have become history, and I have a much better life.

Art Comes From Life

These days I am reading the biography of a famous Chinese painter Qi Barshi. Qi Baishi's paintings have a very strong personal style that rooted from his rural life experience, while the techniques he used are from Chinese traditional literati paintings. He can achieve this as he was a farmer and a carpenter before turning into a professional artist. 

Many people studied paintings from artworks of others, such as those shown in museums or art galleries. But we can only studied the techniques from this. To feed the arts with souls, we have to learn from life. When we use techniques to transform our happiness, sadness, joys and sufferings into the artworks we are creating, we’ve found out an aesthetic way to communicate with others. 

There was once a dark period of my life that I wondered why I suffered that much. I hated my talent, as it gives me more sufferings than joys. Like a pearl that has already been disposed on the corner of a roadside full of weeds, nobody really will admire it. Though a passerby might have glanced its beautiful lustre, they thought it was just the sunshine reflecting on a rubble. I think I should start a path for art, using the life experience as fertilisers, so that I can create something unique.