Glorious Youth

Time passes quickly. It has been more than a year since I came back to Brisbane, Australia. I started up a new career. I got married and soon after that my wife became pregnant. The stories in Shenzhen were as if they had just happened yesterday, while my life has been permanently reshaped.

In the twilight of an evening, holding my wife’s hand, I walked around near the church in the neighbourhood where we lived. I said to my wife, “How pitiful that we have been old, stepping into the so-called middle-age stage!” She didn’t agree with me and resorted, “No, we are still young.” I didn’t want to argue with her, as I clearly knew the truth though sometimes the reality was hard for people to accept. The glorious youth has been passed, leaving only recollections that I can recall. I want to write down the stories of my youth when I still can before I forget much of the details.

I was born as the third child in my family in the mid-1980s in the countryside of the pearl river delta in China. I don’t have that much impression on the village that I was born as my family had moved to the urban area since I was four years old. My parents operated a convenience store in the neighbourhood that I lived in. I was always such an obedient child that, when I was at primary school, I had begun to help my parents to deliver bags of rice to customers. There were many times that I carried a bag of rice as heavy as thirty kilograms on one side of the shoulder and followed the customer to their home to earn the delivery fee. At school, I was timid and maybe, for this reason, I was often bullied by other students. There were many times I went to my wife’s home to play with her brother and my wife said to me that she often teased me when we were children though I had forgotten much of that.

Not far from my home was a junior secondary school, where I became a student when I was thirteen years old. Life for those years was peaceful and delighted. Soon after I started high school, I became addicted to playing basketball although I was always not good at it. When there were no available basketball fields on the campus, I and a group of teenagers rode bicycles to find basketball fields around the city, which has become one of my most precious memory in life. During these years, I was a very excellent student, well in all subjects and especially good at chemistry. I had a nickname, which was “Big New”.

Three years later I started another three years of senior high school, and the campus was far away from home so that I had to ride a bicycle to school, six times a day, every day. This was the best school in the city, but I did not have much positive experience due to the massive amount of homework that hardly made me breathe. I found it hard to catch up with others in my class. I was anxious for examinations and often had diarrhea during an exam. In order to enter an elite university with relevant low scores in the college entrance exams, I had to choose universities far away from home. At length, I got an offer from a university in Xi’an, which was a city with a very long history in the northwestern part of China.

At that time, high-speed railways hadn’t been developed in China, and air-tickets were too expensive for most families to pay. The most popular approach to go to university was by normal trains with green carriages. I typically needed to spend two days on the trip, two hours from home to Guangzhou railway station followed by about thirty hours on the train.

For my first trip to Xi’an, I went there together with my parents. There were crowds of people in the carriage, and we were fortunate to have seats. Many people did not have seats, standing there for a day or more. At night there were people sleeping under our seats. The toilet was not far away but there was a long queue for it.

We got on the train at noon. The train slowly left Guangzhou and then sped up. A few hours later it entered a mountainous area at the border between Guangdong and Hunan provinces. After running for a night in Hunan province, the train arrived in Hubei province in the morning. Then somebody cried out, “Ah, Yangtze river! That is the yellow crane tower!” I then suddenly thought of the poem written by Cui Hao in Tang dynasty with the title “Yellow Crane Tower”, which expressed a melancholy feeling for being far away from my hometown. The train then entered the northern China plain and travelled there for a few hours before it turned west at Zhengzhou station where we could buy chicken legs to eat. Then we saw large mountains out of the window again. After some time, some people spoke out loudly, “Look! This is the Hua mountain.” Then we saw a very high and steep mountain from the window, and there were no such high mountains in my hometown.

As the night was drawing near, the view outside the window became darker and darker. At length, we arrived in Xi’an at around eight to nine o’clock at night. We were grateful that a friend who was from the neighbourhood we lived in and studied in Xi’an one year ago came to pick us up. After dinner, we found a hotel near the train station and stayed there overnight. Next morning, we took a taxi to the campus. The campus was located in the countryside of the city and there was quite a distance from downtown. At that time, the campus was still under construction, and we could see only a few buildings for teaching and student accommodation.

I was nineteen years old when I started university in October of 2004. Life was not that easy at the beginning. I had to adapt to a different climate, a different language, and a different cuisine style. However, the biggest challenge I encountered was the cold weather in winter. Winter in my hometown is as warm as that in Brisbane but much wetter. However, in Xi’an, which is a city in the northwestern part of China, it is extremely cold in winter as the temperature is almost always below zero celsius degrees. The heat supply system for the dormitories on the campus hadn’t been fully constructed yet when we moved in, making me sick frequently. However, when the springs came, there was another scenery. As almost all leaves on the tree had fallen down in the winter, all leaves on the trees in spring are new and pure green. Flowers were blooming, making the city nice. But I seldom went to the city as the campus was in the countryside that was far away from the city. There were even no public buses that could reach the campus, and we normally hailed the minibus on the street to the city. Summer was always my most favourite season, although it was very hot, even a little hotter than that in Brisbane or in Guangdong. Especially in the first year of university, there were not that many buildings on campus to block the view, and thus we could still see the splendid view of the Qinling mountain to the south side of the city.

The four years of university life was full and happy. My course was telecommunications engineering, and there were many challenging subjects in the course. I remember that I studied very hard at university. We normally had classes from dawn until dark, and I often chose to study by myself in the lecture rooms in the evening and returned back to the dormitory late at night. In the first year, my academic performance was not that well, and some of my classmates said, “Little New studies all day but his method seems not hat effective”. “Little New” was my nickname at university, and almost everybody called me like that. But from the second year on, I have had rapid progress and was awarded a scholarship every year. During my spare time, I played with my classmates. As all students lived in university dormitories, we had many ways of entertainments. There were eight students living in a unit, which consisted of two bedrooms, a living room and two bathrooms. We talked and laughed in the dormitory, watching television programs together, and occasionally played basketball outside. At night, when lying in beds, we typically had long chats before going to sleep. During the weekend, I often went to Guodu Town nearby or the city with my roommates.

There were many interesting things happened during the four years. There was one winter day that I hang some clothes on the balcony. A little sparrow flew in and sat on my briefs. At first, I didn’t notice that and got the clothes back to the bedroom. Then suddenly the bird flew out of the briefs. I was terrified. “Oh, catch it!” Other boys in the dormitory were excited and wanted to clutch the little bird. The sparrow then jumped to my pillow, pooped there before flying out from the door of the balcony.

I also had done something naughty. There was a time that I often begged one of my roommates to ring the telephone in the dormitory opposite to ours at night to disturb them. A boy in that dormitory often got up to answer the phone. But as long as he touched the phone, my roommate hanged up the call. “Fuck!” He who answered the phone said angrily. The next day, boys from that dormitory complaint that somebody often rang their phone at night, making them hard to sleep well. Then I felt a bit guilty of it. They didn’t know this was done by one of their best friends. Many years later when we all been matured, I told the one who lived in that dormitory and often picked up the phone the truth, preparing him to curse me, but he seemed very peaceful when he knew this.

How happy those days of glorious youth are! But life is not always that delighted. After three years, a roommate of mine was selected on a student exchange program and was going to France for postgraduate studies. Before he left China, the boys in my dormitory had a farewell dinner with him in the Guodu town after examinations. During the dinner, one of them said to me, “Little New, you are such a simple-minded man that I am afraid that you will be deceived by others in future. As you know, not everyone is as nice as we are in society.” Other boys nodded their heads to show that they agree with what he said. Several months later, I met the recruitment team of ZTE company and was deceived by them, which was exactly as what my roommate said. Because of this, my family later made a decision to send me to Australia for further study.

As I have said that, summer was always my favourite season. The summer in 2008 was also a sentimental season. We left the campus in July. On the day before we left, I packed the luggage in the dormitory, with a feeling of unwilling to leave. One friend came to my dormitory, and he seemed to have known what I was thinking in mind. He pressed my shoulder on one hand and said, “There must be one day in future when we will gather again!” I was much comforted. But a boy who also from Guangdong province gave a supplement in the sentence, and said, “As long as we are still in China!”

A Day Trip to Toowoomba

 Yesterday my wife and I had a travel to Toowoomba to see the 70th Carnival of Flowers. This is my second time to Toowoomba, but for my wife, it is her first time. We got up early in the morning. Then we drove to Sunnybank. After parking our vehicle, we hurried to a McDonald where we gathered there for departure. We got on to the bus at around 8 o’clock in the morning, and then the driver drove us to Toowoomba.

We first arrived in the Japanese Garden near the University of Southern Queensland. There we saw a big bird, which pronounced as “ti-hu” in mandarin. As we arrived quite early, there were no that many people in the garden. My wife said the environment was beautiful as if standing in a garden in Japan. We also saw the sakura flowers, which I mistakenly thought were peach blossoms.

After visiting the Japanese Garden, we went to the picnic point. We had a lunch in the Picnic Point Restaurant. We were not that adapted to the food that we ordered. However, we purchased ice-creams which were quite delicious. The picnic point is on top of a mountain, where we can view a larger space surrounding the city.

Then we went to the Laurel Bank Park, where we saw a big flower bed looked like a cake cutting a piece by a knife. Due to the special design, many people liked to take photos there.

The last garden we visited were the Queen Park. This is the largest park of the three that we visited, as it was just next to the botanic garden. There was a playground inside the garden. We wanted to see the flower parade, but we did not have enough time. It was crowded with people.

A flute teacher

My parents and I went to the High-Tech ParkCultural Plaza for a walk after lunch last Friday evening. My mother and I were wandering around the plaza, while my father picked up a Dizi and played it for fun. After a while, my father stopped playing. Next to him stood a man, playingDizi as well. How beautiful the sounds he produced! It was as if a bird swinging jauntily on a tree. Many pedestrians passing by were attracted to the sounds. They stopped and listened to it. Some of them even use mobile phones to record the videos.

“Are you a professional performer?”I asked.  “I was but now have been retired.” He said. We then have a short conversation, from which I knew that he was once a professionalDizi performer, having taught Dizi for more than twenty years. He could master several musical instruments that linked to the mouth, such as Dizi, Xiao, Hulusi, and harmonica. I then told him that I played Xiao in ordinary days. I said that I would bring my Xiao here on Monday and would like to consult him a few questions regarding playing Xiao. He agreed pleasantly.

We met him at the same time on Monday as expected. I picked up my Xiao and played the main theme of the musical composition Spring, River, Flowers, Moon and Night. He said I played quite well. I then told him that my Xiao seemed sounding incorrect, as I used a software-based tuner to check the sound and the pitch seemed a little lower than the standard. He then picked up my Xiao and played for a while. He said, “This Xiao is Okay. The problem is that you blow it not strong enough. ” While he was blowing the xiao, I used my mobile to measure, and this time the sound matched the standard well. He then taught me to practice prolonged sounds. Then he asked me for whether I knew DAYIN, CHANYIN, and HUAYIN. I said I didn’t. He then suggested me to find a book and practised that one by one. He demonstrated to me for what DAYIN was by playing a passage in the musical composition A VISIT TO SUZHOU. Finally, he said I should have a book and if there were any questions from the book, he would be happy to explain. 

游台山那琴半岛

 今天，我们游玩了那琴半岛。那琴半岛位于台山市南端，临近太平洋，地方偏僻，风景迤逦。

     在去玩的前一个晚上，我兴奋中夹杂着一丝踌躇不安，彻夜辗转难眠。今天一早，我们做上了一辆顺风车，轻快地离开了江门市。车子进了台山不久，我们就看到许多山峦，山上耸立着各种嶙峋的石头，千奇百态。

     我们的车停在浪琴湾。浪琴湾是我们今天游玩的第一站。由于前天去古兜温泉玩，那儿没有什么特别迷人的景致，以至于一开始我们对浪琴湾也不抱有多少期盼，觉得也许不过是乡村地方的一个海边而已，无论如何也难以匹敌比如黄金海岸等昆士兰的几个举世闻名的沙滩。然而举目张望的第一眼，我们便被浪琴湾迷人的风光吸引了。这里的沙滩和昆士兰的沙滩自是风景各异，然而若要论上谁比谁更美，则只能说是不相上下，各有各的风采罢了。这里的沙子没有黄金海岸的那么白那么细，这里的波涛是那么的平缓温和，这里的水似乎没有阳光海岸那么清；然而耸立在四周的是各种形状的石头，有的像一个妇女背着小孩望着大海，有的像一只海龟，有的像一头牛，别有一番景致。

     看罢浪琴湾，我们沿着公路走，向那琴半岛出发。沿途中，买了一些海产。中午在一间大排档吃过午饭，我们便去了景区。景区里主要是各种大块的石头。沿着海岸线的石头上有一条栈道，那便是我们游览的主要的地方。栈道架设在嶙峋的石头上，一边是波涛汹涌的大海。各种石头错落有致的叠着，人们给他们安上了一些优美的名字，比如『玉兔望月』，『一线天』等等。栈道走过来便是一个小小的沙滩。栈道的另一边是婚纱摄影地，可以观赏的就非常有限了。

     我们用两三个小时游完了整个景区。然而回家之路交通极其不便，多番辗转，足足花了五个小时。之后我们终于明白了为什么这么美丽的景区却很少听人言起，乃是因为过分偏远的缘故。然而，但凡世外桃源总在尘嚣之外，中外皆如此。人一多，自然风光就不和谐了。

回乡

 六月的岭南，天空总是闷闷的，就连那一阵阵的雨，也恰似人的心绪那么时急时细而又连绵不断、、、、、、

我们的运气很是不错，从香港机场出来的时候，愁云虽然已经弥漫了华南的整片天空，然而大的雨点却仍然没有下来。从机场过了深圳湾，我们便爬上了开往江门的大巴。等到车要开的时候­­，时间已近晚上十点了。

夜色笼罩的深圳，灯火最是通明，映得汽车前窗的倒后镜宛如照着新年绽放的烟花一般。虽是整日奔波劳碌，我却并不疲倦，反而不时急切地往窗外张望，想从科技园里那座高达三十三层的中兴总部大厦中，拾回几分少年轻狂的韶华回忆。很可惜，汽车很快走上了高速公路，并没有进入真正的市区。那座在科技园俯览群楼的中兴总部大厦只有在记忆中方可寻觅了。那一年，我即将本科毕业。一向胆小懦弱的我居然跑去 大公司的招聘组自荐说，“我自觉比硕士研究生更优秀，所以我只想进你们的研发部！”然而岁月的蹉跎竟不知不觉地了消磨了昔日少年的豪情，如同大海边上的顽石，任你的菱角如何犀利，也终有一朝被大海的浪涛消磨至平滑。

我们六月八日夜里回到江门来了。第二天傍晚，我们饭后往外散步的时候，顺手买了一袋荔枝。荔枝虽是故乡的产物，我小时吃得却不多 。因为每逢六月荔枝大熟之际，一个学期便到了期末考试之时。比如全国的高考，就定在了六月的七、八、九日三天。我总怕荔枝上火，吃了会影响发挥。现在想来，我其实不必那么紧张。可是当时年幼无知，往往当局者迷。到了高三的时候，我甚至每次模拟考试都要中途去洗手间，所以时常做不完那些题目。在我高考的时候，广东省的考生是先填报志愿后参加考试的：考生要根据平时成绩来选报学校和专业。当时学校的老师建议我们报比自己平时成绩要求略高的志愿，美其名曰“跳一下就可以摘到的苹果”。然而我天性胆小，总是害怕考试时拉肚子上厕所一类的事情。最后，我选了一个“弯一下腰就可以摘到的苹果”作为第一志愿。那就是西安电子科技大学的通信工程专业。也许因为这个志愿相对于我的实力比较容易考，所以到了真正高考的那几天我的心里很是平静，是故平安无事。我仍记得高考语文的那天有一个同学对我说：“大新，我终于知道为什么你每次考试都想上厕所了、、、、、、原来我也会这样、、、、、”然后接着有数个同学说：“我也不知道为什么突然想上厕所，我平时不是这样的、、、、、、”我的高考发挥基本正常，然而考试之前一个星期和完后的两天却病了一场，心里着实要感谢菩萨的保佑。我觉得如今的考生比我们要幸福多了，至少他们是先出了成绩再报志愿的。但是在路上，我看到那些考生的面容却如我们以前一般彷徨。这些孩子，整年被那些老师在耳边叮咛，“高考是人生的转折点、、、、、、”，仿佛一次考试就真的决定了人的一生。其实我宁愿这样，但其实不是。

这次回乡的一个很有意思的事情是我再次与孩提时一位最亲密的伙伴相聚了。我读小学时，有两个最为重要的玩伴。他们都住在我家附近。我们每天一起上学放学，而至周末他们总要跑到我家楼下喊我去玩。直到上初中以后，我们分在了不同的班。我和他们的联系日渐淡了。面对着这位既熟悉又陌生的朋友，心中有着说不出来的滋味。他满腮的须根和略微凸起的肚子竟是出乎了我的想象，而去到他的家里，看到他的孩子的笑容，反倒觉得那张面孔更为亲切和熟悉。我说：“我觉得相对你，我更加认得你这娃。”我们聊了各自的景况，最后话题落在了一位身在广州的伙伴身上。我说：“久不联系，不知那位故人还记得我否。”眼前的这位伙伴说：“怎可能不记得？我们两个人其实一直都知道你的信息，尽管我们并没有亲耳听你说到。”

这一天，我路过我从前的初中。这些年里，学校的名字也已经更改了。我看着那些孩子，想起了小时候的我。我读初中时很喜欢打篮球。我每天都去练球。在我的记忆深处，依稀记得以前放学的时候，学校的操场篮球场被占完了，我和班里一群少年随即骑着单车穿梭于江门市各个学校，到处找篮球场、、、、、、、想着想着，突然觉得那些日子很幸福，但是已经一去不返了。

雨在外面淅淅沥沥地下着，滴滴答答地，也如那墙上的闹钟，数落着我逝去的青春。

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG OR RIGHT FOR A CONCEPTUAL MODEL

 There is nothing wrong or right as a conceptual model, if the domain of interest is ignored.

These days when I read some articles about image formation, and the fundamental of the theory is a so-called “Pinhole camera model”, which stated that when the light reflected from the objects goes through a single hole and then the reversal-positioning object will be form in the other side of the hole. However, the power of the light beams that passes a single hole is normally not strong enough to form high quality images. In practice, a lens is normally used to concentrate the light beams to a focus point. In the discussion of image formation and the related problems such as three-dimensional reconstruction from images and projecting three dimensional objects into a two dimensional picture, the assumption such as “light beams transfers in straight lines” is always hold.

I then recalled the remembrance in a physic class at high school. The teacher told the class of about fifty students regarding the history of scientific understanding of light. He said that, “In the old days, two groups of scientists argued that whether light transfers in the air in the form of a slight line or a type of wave. For a very long period, the former won, as the greatest supporter for this viewpoint was Sir Newton. However, scientific experiments later revealed that the more accuracy description of light is the form of wave. Nowadays, after the development of quantum physics, the most advanced theory identified light as a type of quantum particles moving along the wave…”

From what we have learned in physic classes at high school, it seemed that the idea of light transferring in straight lines had been outdated. However, it is of necessary to point out that, many applications still are implemented based on this theory. It will be extremely difficult if not impossible to calculate the transformation matrices in multiple view geometry by considering the light as the motion of a collection of quantum particles, or as a type of electromagnetic wave with any calculations depending on the complicated Maxswell’s equation. To this reason, the idea of modelling light as transferring in straight line is the most appropriate approach. 

In my childhood, I was always more attracted by the art of literature rather than scientific subjects such as maths. I liked the type of open questions that where would be no answers in the world and everybody has a distinctive viewpoint. However, as age grows, I begin to understand that the nature of the universe is an uncertain object that there is no scientific model that can be purely correctly summarise all varieties of the universe. If not speaking the concrete situation, there is nothing wrong or right for any abstract theory. Perhaps, in scientific research, it is more appropriate to say a model being more widely application, rather than more accurate than its counter parts.

翻看一篇旧博文

 最近一段日子，论文看得少了些。每天下班以后，无所事事则去健身房锻炼一下，或者听听音乐，或者学弹吉他。以前专门为打印论文买的打印机却在今年从没打印过论文，桌子上那本泛函分析的教材积满了灰尘。

一位友人几次三番地说，他觉得我的思想变了，没有以前那么上进了。平时我们聊天的话题几乎全部和科研相关。最近，我却从来不和他讨论文章和算法。"其实科研也就那样。我也是做一天和尚撞一天钟而已。"我说。他一脸惊讶地望着我，半开玩笑地说一直以来他视我为科研上的一盏明灯，突然发现这盏明灯灭了，眼前一片漆黑，看不到方向。

实际上我没有变过。虽然身处西方社会，我仍然深深地受着中国传统思想的影响，内心深处在儒家和道家的入世和出世的冲撞中不断挣扎，如同李白的诗歌所言："欲渡黄河冰塞川，将登太行雪满山。闲来垂钓碧溪上，忽复乘舟梦日边。"

早一阵子，整理旧电脑硬盘的文件，我意外地发现了以前写的一篇博文《两易专业》。我以前写的博文里只剩这一篇还有底稿的。这说来也是一种意外。这篇文章写于我读博士初期。当时我在电脑上写完这篇文章以后，则粘贴到了人人网和QQ空间。我平素有习惯把文章传上网络以后就将它们从电脑上删除。那天正好下了一场暴雨而我却忘了关窗户。雨水从窗口进来弄湿了笔记本电脑。结果，第二天，我就无法开机了。最后我们把电脑拆开，把硬盘取了出来保存着。这样，这篇几年前的博文就保存下来了。

以下摘录几段来自那篇博文的豪言壮语：

"从此，我面试了各种各样的公司，遇到了形形式式的求职者。有时候，随便交流了几句，从别人的经历中了解到了许多不知道的东西。每当同学和我讲起他们在公司的各种培训，我就感觉自己好像渐发落后。难道，一向勤奋好学的进步青年就这样堕落了吗？这一次的北京奥运，最亮目的是美国的游泳选手菲尔普斯，一人包揽八面金牌。然而更让我佩服的是他的自信。他在奥运之前就说，要拿八面金牌。我真正诧异的并非他的成绩，而是他在开始之前就能够预料到他的成绩，这是怎样一种英勇的王者气派，深深让我折服。"

"从那以后的数个月里，我几乎全在五邑大学的自习室里度过。别人问我来做什么，我就说我要考研。这天，听说陈超在搞VHDL,我于是拿起了以前学不会的那本集成电路的教材来看。以前，我根本就学不通这是什么东西。这一次，我慢慢翻书看了一下，猛然间明白了……"

"模拟对应的就是非线性，但凡非线性的东西总是用线性的东西来逼近的。就如当时我们学电子线路的时候，其实真正说难的就是：这个幅频特性曲线原是一条曲线，但是在某个范围内，它近似看作一条直线。因为有了这个近似，很多数学上的推倒就很跳跃。又比如高频电子线路本是非线性的，若对晶体管特性曲线进行泰勒级数展开，忽略高阶无穷小，就近似成线性时变电路。然后我再联想，微积分难道不是这样创立的吗？不就是用无数无限短的直线去逼近一条曲线吗？我当时想到这里，仿佛几年下来那些最恼人的东西一下子解开了！"

"很多人对理想孜孜不倦的追求，却感到遥不可及。然而另一些人，却意外地在理想即将实现的那天清醒过来：原来一直以来自己追求的理想并不曾存在过！所谓’说到辛酸事，荒唐亦可悲。由来同一梦，休笑世人痴’。"